I’m going to share something I don’t normally talk about on my blog, but I feel it needs to be called out and highlighted. It is something I’ve held close to my chest because it felt messy, shameful, and heavy. But the more women I work with, the more I see this pattern repeating… And I can’t stay quiet anymore.

We need to talk about financial abuse.

Not the dramatic kind displayed in movies.
But the subtle, quiet, insidious kind that hides inside marriages, divorces, business partnerships, and the nurturing roles women unconsciously take on.

I Thought My Financial Abuse Story Ended With My Divorce… It Didn’t

When my ex-husband and I divorced, I truly believed that chapter of my life was over.

The paperwork was signed.
Payments were arranged.

The emotional unraveling was done... or so I thought.
I had this naïve belief that everything had been handled on his end, especially the pieces that weren’t in my area of expertise.

I remember sitting in our accountant’s office years ago. She explained clearly what needed to happen with a particular account tied to our old company. He nodded. He agreed. I trusted he knew what he had to do.

My strengths were in managing clients, building relationships, and handling the day-to-day operations — not the financial administration.
Was I still responsible as a director?
Yes.
But I was also emotionally drowning at the time, carrying the mental and emotional load of our life. Like so many women do, I assumed my partner was carrying his half.

Fast forward three years.

An email arrives from he saying we owe the CRA $30,000! An outstanding account I believed had been dealt with years ago.

And in that moment my world cracked open.

It wasn’t just the bill or the money.
It was the betrayal. The shock. The way my nervous system collapsed into old trauma patterns.

The realization that something I trusted someone to handle, a person I once built a life with, had boomeranged back into my reality two years later.

The past I thought I had buried showed up at my doorstep with a dollar amount attached to it.

This is financial abuse.
This is what it looks like when someone’s lack of responsibility becomes your burden.
And women experience this FAR more often than we talk about.

And it’s time we name it.

Financial Abuse Isn’t Always Obvious

It can look like:

• A partner who “forgets” to pay their portion
• Someone who hides debts, taxes, or financial obligations
• A spouse who weaponizes money or responsibilities
• A co-parent who tries to reduce custody to avoid paying support
• A boss or colleague who exploits your nurturing nature
• A partner who allows you to carry the invisible labor & financial cleanup

Most women don’t even realize it’s abuse because it’s layered in:

“Nurturing”
“Being a good partner”
“Not wanting conflict”
“Handling it because someone has to”

But abuse is abuse—even when it’s wrapped in silence.

My Numerology Helped Me Understand Why I Didn’t See It Sooner

Part of why this blindsided me is because of who I am energetically.

My Ruling Number is 11/2.

The 11/2 is the intuitive, the empath, the feeler, the peacemaker. I see the best in people. We want harmony, connection, and emotional safety. We are wired to nurture and understand others, sometimes at our own expense.

The shadow side of 11/2 energy?

• Absorbing everyone’s emotions
• Over-giving until we’re empty
• Avoiding conflict to maintain peace
• Trusting too deeply
• Carrying the emotional and relational load
• Normalizing behavior that hurts us
• Staying quiet so the energy stays “calm”
• Believing love requires sacrifice

My sensitivity made me intuitive and compassionate — but it also made me vulnerable to emotional and financial manipulation.
The 11/2 wants harmony so deeply that we often silence ourselves long before we speak up.

But harmony without truth isn't harmony — it’s self-abandonment.

And that is one of the biggest lessons an 11/2 can ever learn.

From CPTSD to Conscious Healing: The Work Behind the Woman I Am Today

People often see the strength I have now. They see me leading women, guiding souls, and teaching energetics.

But they don’t see the work behind that strength.

For the past five years, I have been in the deepest chapter of my self-healing. Understanding my psychology, doing deep shadow work and reworking my nervous system, my trauma responses, and why I was wired to over-function, over-give, and over-accommodate.

CPTSD is not something you simply “get over.”
You learn it.
You navigate it.
You understand its patterns.
You heal layer by layer.

I spent over 30 years in counselors’ offices, collecting tools, emotional language, and awareness that my younger self never had.
It shaped who I am.
It shaped how I coach.

Not because I’m a certified counselor — but because my life has been its own certification.

I coach from lived experience, not theory.
From intuition, not scripts.
From soul, not formulas.

Because if I can recover from childhood sexual, physical, emotional, verbal, and financial abuse —
so can you.

Healing Made Space for a Love I Didn't Believe Existed

Here’s the beautiful side to this story.

While the CRA bill cracked open old wounds… Life was simultaneously showing me what healed love actually looks like.

I am now coming up on my two-year anniversary with Douglas — a man who supports me in ways I’ve never experienced in my life.

Our love is not transactional.
It’s grounded.
Reciprocal.
Soulful.

The kind of relationship where:

• you binge-watch an entire Netflix series together just because
• he recreates your first date
• you feel safe, seen, supported, and adored
• your nervous system softens rather than prepares for impact

At first, it felt foreign. When you’ve lived in survival mode, peace feels dangerous because my nervous system has been so wired for protection. Support feels suspicious. Healthy love feels overwhelming.

But this is what happens when you heal.
This is what happens when an 11/2 learns to choose herself.
This is what happens when your nervous system finally feels safe to receive.

Healing doesn’t just shift your emotional world —
it changes the kind of love you attract.

Why I’m Speaking Out

I’m sharing this because:

• Women need to know financial abuse is real — even when it’s subtle.

• Women need to know they’re not alone when the past comes back in unexpected ways.

• Women need to know their sensitivity is not a flaw — it’s a gift that must be protected.

• And women need to see what’s possible when you do the work.

My story didn’t end with the CRA bill.
It began again with healing, self-responsibility, and choosing myself.

And now?
I am creating a life — and a love — that matches the woman I’ve become.

If You're Navigating a Similar Chapter…

This is exactly why I created The Phoenix Path — for women who are rising from the ashes of trauma, divorce, emotional abuse, and self-abandonment.

For women who want to feel safe again.
Loved again.
Empowered again.
Whole again.

If this chapter of your life feels like a breaking point…
It might actually be your initiation.

✨ If you feel called to rise, my doors for January are open.
Reach out and we’ll see if this journey is right for you. APPLY HERE

Adrienne Harris

Professional Numerologist, Soul Path Guide & Relationship Strategist

https://www.adrienneharris.ca/thephoenixpath

Join our free online community until the end of December pricing going up to $22/Month : https://www.skool.com/numerology-made-simple/about?ref=909862a281864da38815bfd6d9209a67